My Body May Stay Fat, but It Will Not Stay Still

How we see the world shapes who we choose to be — and sharing compelling experiences can frame the way we treat each other, for the better. This is a powerful perspectiveI was 3 years old when I started swimming. I was 14 when I stoppedI don’t remember the first time I got in a pool, but I do remember the feeling of slipping below the surface for the first time, arms cutting through the water, strong and straight legs propelling me forward.
I felt powerful, forceful, tranquil and meditative, all at once. Any worries I had were the purview of air and land — they couldn’t reach me underwaterOnce I started swimming, I couldn’t stop. I joined the youth swim team at my neighborhood pool, eventually becoming a coach. I swam relay in meets, anchoring the team with a forceful butterfly. I never felt stronger or more powerful than when I swam. So I swam every chance I gotThere was only one problem. I was fat. I didn’t face some classic bullying scenario, classmates chanting singsong names or openly ridiculing my body. No one commented on my size at the pooBut when I wasn’t cutting through the sharp, still water, I was adrift in a sea of diet talk, weight loss fixations, and peers who suddenly wondered if they were too fat to pull off that dress or whether their thighs would ever get thinnEven swimsuits reminded me that my body couldn’t seeI was a teenage girl, and diet talk was ubiquitous. If I don’t lose this next 5 pounds, I’m never leaving the house. He’s never going to ask me to homecoming — I’m way too fat. I can’t wear that swimsuit. No one wants to see these thighs. RELATED VIDEOSWatch MoI listened as they spoke, my face flushing red. Everyone, it seemed, found their own bodies to be impossibly fat. And I was fatter than all of themOver time, as I entered middle and high school, I became acutely aware that the sight of my body was unacceptable to those around me — especially in a swimsuit. And if my body couldn’t be seen, it undoubtedly couldn’t be So I stopped swimming regularlI didn’t notice the loss immediately. My muscles slowly went slack, slipping from their previous taut readiness. My resting breath shallowed and quickened. A previous sense of calm was replaced with a regularly racing heart and the slow strangulation of constant anxiety.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Is It Possible to Get Rid of Lactic Acid in Your Muscles?

Image
Lactic acid was once believed to be the cause of sore muscles after exercise. It’s not. Another substance, lactate, contributes. However, what causes muscle burn and pain is more complex. Staying hydrated and resting muscles may helIf you participate in high intensity interval training or similar intense exercise, you’ve probably felt the intense burn in your muscles that often comes with this type of activity. This burning sensation is frequently attributed to lactic acid buildup. For years, recreational and competitive athletes have assumed that, in order to increase performance, they have to minimize lactic acid in their bodies. However, this notion is falsThat’s right: Lactic acid is not the cause of the burn during intense exercise, nor is it responsible for the persistent soreness that may last from hours to days following intense exercise. What’s more, exercise physiologists are continuing to study the complexities of what we’ve traditionally called “lactic acid buildup.” As i...
Read more

Does Creatine Cause Headaches?

Image
FluxFactory/Getty ImaFrom energy boosters to performance enhancers, the world of sports and fitness is no stranger to supplements. For many athletes and gym-goers, creatine is one of the more popular supplements on the market for improving performancAlthough side effects from creatine are relatively uncommon, some people have reported experiencing headaches from creatine supplementIn this article, we’ll explore what creatine does, some potential side effects of creatine supplementation, and what the research says about creatine causing headaches. Does creatine cause headacheCreatine is a naturally occurring substance made of amino acids. It supplies the body with cellular energy. Red meat and seafood are the primary sources of dietary creatine, while endogenous creatine is synthesized in the liver, kidneys, and pancreasMost creatine is stored in and used by the muscles, which makes it a popular supplement for fitness-related activities. As with almost all supplements, there have been ...
Read more

The Best Core Exercises for All Fitness Levels

Image
Core exercises can include yoga poses, crunches, planks, and other exercises that incorporate additional muscleWhether you’re pushing a grocery cart or putting on shoes, you use your core to accomplish a lot of everyday activities. It also affects your balance, posture, and stabilitContrary to popular belief, your core doesn’t just include your abdominal muscles. It also consists of muscles in your back and around your pelvis. Your core, or trunk, includes yourErector spinae. The erector spinae is a back muscle that extends up your trunk. It helps you stand up straight abendover, as well as bend sideways and rotate your heRectus abdominis. When you bend forward, you use an abdominal muscle called the rectus abdominis. It’s sometimes called the “six pack” musclObliques. Your internal oblique and external oblique help you rotate or bend your trunTransverse abdominis. The transverse abdominis, wwraps around the front and side of your trunk, stabilizes your pelvMultifidus. The multifidus ...
Read more